Marriage is not let me go and buy bread, Agage bread for that matter, for those who have been to Lagos part of Nigeria in Africa will relate or can attest to how easy it is to buy that particular bread, wait for me am coming hahahahahha.
As humans, we are very difficult beings to deal with, even you and I, just that we appear so good to our selves, but know it that we are generally difficult beings ok.
That is why love, Respect and understanding is much required in any marriage that must survive the test of time, irrespective of how we are wired, as a man or a woman, because both of us are wired differently male/female or the pattern or method that works for you because in marriage remember that what works for A might not work for B,C,D, E OR F. G to Z but Irrespective of your Pattern/method for a lovely, happy and lastly marriage every of them needs this three things, (LOVE, RESPECT AND UNDERSTANDING) that’s it, so stop that habit of wanting to pick any woman for wife or any man for husband it won’t work ok, look for your match, many options out there, but not everyone that will surely match you.
Most people will argue this, no problem, no man in the face of earth is perfect everyone with his or her own problems so know it, everyone has flaws and we can’t learn everyone even if you like stay 100 years together with them, for sure we must offend each other no matter what, is only love and is that love that gives us understanding that another person is human, capable of disappointing one self-let alone another person ok, love, is what keeps us going, is love that can enable us to forgive one another as we journey along in marriage. So that’s why love, is paramount, love will help us in tolerating this person’s flaws same with that person to us too, Is very very impossible to forgive who you don’t have soft spot for, you hear us, using words like, let him/her go to hell, hey, ( have you been there before, please come tell us) hahhaha. slow down jari, and you moved on like nothing really happened but for another person, it takes away your sleep which is love. Is easy for us to let go of things for people we like, (love) than people we don’t like, what do you call that and so difficult to hold grudges for some particular people. if I may ask what do you think is responsible for that action, remember love is not only applicable to opposite sex ok. WHY DO WE GET SO HURT WHEN A PARTICULAR PERSON HURTS US, IS STILL LOVE.
That is Where love is needed and necessary for those of you who argue that u don’t need love to be married, some of our parents tell us it will grow, if E no come grown nko, mind you is who you love you respect and commit to, no matter what, challengings of life can not be predicted, it can come or happen any time or any day, no one is excluded, with a love one in sight in times of trouble, you can over come.
we have issues where the man or woman only needed one another for money/children etc that is why they get committed in a marriage, relationship, once they get it, is done, their commitment dies off and the other party feels used, break up is the next thing,look around you, our society today, you will agree with me.most children are suffering it.
It still beat my imagination how people will wake up and walk to someone they don’t know, You don’t know his/her liability and asset and say I want to marry you, MARRY WHO!!!!, (O BOY ) tell her/him, that you are, blushing, abi, that is what oyibo man called it. Say you want to sleep with her/him simple, it will enable us to handle your case probably ok. Irrespective of some fustratatd people, who needs marriage now,now, Is common with those frustrated people, what they need is just that name marriage, let it be that am married every other thing can fellow, who told you, and they can go any length, do any thing at that moment to have it, most times they are not the best, because of what they want, their focus always, they are so narrow-minded to look at the marriage institution with what it comes with it, every thing to them is yes, yes and yes,( ka na agaga, hey. NDI AR) if you say am lying like some is saying now, is ok, why is it that even after going miles to have it, when they get it, some many of them, they still, mess it up. WHY, a, ask your self, biko) now and now is a disease ok so deal with it.
In marriage, we expect to marry both the asset and liability, everyone on this planet has it, one of the major problems in the family setting these days is that many people want to marry only assets and not liability, thank God for social media, we so much hype our asset no one talks about our liabilities it won’t always be rosy ok,And for sure, when one find out that one party was actually into him or her for a particular thing, the person feels bad, feels used and it leads to change of attitudes towards the other person that might even lead to breaking up, mind you, you can not change any one no matter how we try, we need relationship, we need friendship to know each other small o and to know the type of crazy,” sorry for the choice of words here” each and every one of us possess, carry, his or her own craziness, have it, so we go into friendship/relationship so as to know if is the type of craziness we can handle, manage, tolerate, that is when your love is needed and that is where love and respect comes in from both side, love prompt decision, we decide to love and live by it.
A man in love makes a decision to be with someone, a man who is not in love is looking for something, once he/she gets it or did not get it, they check outs to the next available bus, going going. Love is the game, as your partner is tolerating you, respect him or her to know that he or she is barely tolerating you, that you are not really the best and respect them. Noted (There is bad and good side of every human beings on earth, the one you call on answers you, always have that at the back of your mind please even our anointed people too) No one wants to be treated like nobody, every man wants to be treated like a king and every woman wants to be treated like a queen ok, no matter their condition, back ground and situation.Get to know people through friendship, then relationship before marriage, everyone is not made for you but most people can be for you if you share feelings, respect and ready to understand each other. Some say they don’t have time, what did you do with your time, And stop that mind set of feeling, That am a man, am a woman, it all depends on what you want, valuable things are not easy to come by, you can get anything by outside the gate, the real things are always inside the gate, you need to gain entrance to the gate and pick it if really you need it, so wait for it okooo… you need the patience to get it ok. .I Stand to be corrected.
That is if you share with me that the major arm of marriage first is for companionship. have you ever asked your self after sex, what else do I have with this person, share in common with this person, love is not sex, relationship, respect and commitment comes in, do you share it, you need them.
We endure, tolerate and forgive easily for people we like as humans not because of what they have or what they are, people who endure you because of what they want from you are only your slaves, is that what you want, it will not be long, their endurance or tolerance span will expire, check it, no one endures for life time, endurance kills, but people tolerate with hope and love. Why love is very very necessary in marriage is because you go into marriage expecting nothing from your partner, rather you should be ready to make sacrifices, and it can only come naturally with love, and to make her/him happy and I bet you when you go into marriage because you like, love this person ready to lay down your life for him or her and started doing it, provided you are been respected, not been taken for granted, it won’t be long your good deed you have give to her or him will force him/her to naturally return it, is a law of nature,
Why love is very very necessary in marriage is because you should go into marriage expecting nothing from your partner, rather you should be ready to make sacrifices help him/her and it can only come naturally with love and respect to make her/him happy and I bet you when you go into marriage because you like, love this person ready to lay down your life for him or her and started doing it, provided you are been respected, not been taken for granted, it won’t be long your good deed you have give to her or him will force him/her to naturally return it, is a law of nature, know when you are being a slave or showing selfless love.
For those pastors sharing husband/wife instead of knowledge or empowering people, tell them to stop adding to our problems we already have more problems to deal with in African continent thanks, much love. Life does not start and end with marriage ok more over marriage is not for everyone get the brain now and start living your life.
more thanks to you for stopping over to read
BEADYSWORLD- CHANGING YOUR MINDSET