This is to remind you of your roles, duties and responsibilities as a father to your family and the society.

Impregnating a woman does not automatically makes you a father, remember sperm donor is a lucrative business in the world today, anyone can impregnate a woman, but seeing to the emotional, mental, physical and psychological growth of that child make you a father. Outlined are a few points.

1. Good Example

Your life is like a book, Your subordinates, children, friends and wife,  they are reading; they are watching you, your actions, your deeds not your words….
Be a good example in character, in conversation, in your actions and deeds… Live an exemplary life remember you are not living for yourself but for others, that is if you see yourself as a leader.

2. Priest/Imam

Let them know the way of your God you serve, teach and lead them to pray and live a godly life.
‘The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom’. lay the foundation you want starting from the first day, you mat her, you gave birth to them, establish the foundation.

3. Provider

Do not let your family suffer, you are the breadwinner of the house and it is your responsibility to provide for them with love not with pain.
Provide them food, shelter and clothing’s, provide for your child the best legacy and investment which is Education. Do not be lazy, be hardworking and God will crown your efforts!

4. Protector

It is your role to protect your family. Protect them from the evil vices of this world, stand up and defend your family when necessary.
I remember I read a touching story in the dailies about a Man who died while trying to prevent armed robbers from molesting his wife, he said I can’t watch it happen, I’ll rather die, he killed two of them before he was shot dead and they were unable To Molest the woman. The wife said ‘my husband died a hero’, and she would never forget that. That family will forever be proud of their father that is a real Father!

5. Be human,
Remove that societal mentality, “am a man” that is destroying most men and families, let them feel your pores, relate with your family as part of them, integrate with them, let them know you have a need, that you can fail, make mistakes, and that it might not always look rousing, accept your mistakes and don’t be ashamed to accept it and make a correction, stop seeing yourself as that special being among your family members, make yourself part of them so they can be free with you.

6. Playmate
Play with your family, not only your wife you have to play with, for those who do, those who don’t please do,  also play with your children. Take them out, walk hand in hand with them, buy the young one’s toys, play games, basketball, golf and other sports with the elder ones too, once in a while take them out to the cinemas, out for shopping, to gardens, to mama sikirat, anywhere, go out together, it must not be an expensive outing if you can afford it, take them on vacations.. Cos those moments are unforgettable.

6. Companion

Always be there for your family, because they need you. Be with your wife/children on their special days, I could be the first day at school, on their graduation and most importantly on their wedding day! Be with your wife during pregnancy and labour period; understand your wife’s emotions, family members, and your children too, be with them on anniversaries like birthday, Christmas…and at a critical time, be their emotion lifters.

7. Teacher

Teach your Family, you children, wife members of your household, take the position of that leader that you are, suggest for them what to do, when and how, . Teach them your religious beliefs, your principles, also go through your children’s homework’s, be interested in your wife work, help her achieve.
‘One real father is better than a thousand headmasters’, ‘
charity, education begins at home’.

Train them with good values of life, imbibe in them human sympathy, teach them the way of  God, train them to be good and law-abiding citizens, train them on their responsibilities to the family, the school, religion and the society.
Don’t forget child training has more to do with your lifestyle than what you tell them i.e it has more to do with what they see than what they hear, that is why you must be a good example to them.

9. Servant

Render selfless service to your family, it shouldn’t be all about you, buy gifts for everyone before buying for yourself.
Jesus washed his disciple’s feet, serve them at home, serve at work, serve in your place of worship. Do not be proud, because pride go before a fall!

10. LOVE

The greatest gift a father can offer his children is to love their mother. A man who loves his wife finds it easy to love his children and those children shares love to the world.
Also, Love your children, make them feel at home, make them feel welcomed, be a good listener, let them feel the fatherly warmth and embrace.
Finally, once in a while tell them ‘you Love them’. always reassures your wife about your love, same goes to your children.

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Nkiruka Okonkwo a Nigeran British citizen, From Awka in Anambra State,  Southeast Nigeria, based in …

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