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BUSOLA DAKOLOS RAPED BY COSA PASTOR

Busola has decided to live her life, she is tired of just existing,  by opening up and speaking up just like the majority of Nigerians who their lives has been taken away from them as a result of being raped or being sexually assaulted. ( many of them exist around us in cage/pain)

Unfortunately, our religious leaders which Coza pastor            Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo,

is one of them, our politicians, big men and Big women in our society have resulted in making money to humiliate the venerable, majority of them use their money, fame and power to silence the cases of rape in our society today,  by threatening the victims who have no one to fight for.

or those who are more engrossed in protecting their names, family name or image for future purposes. as no man might want to marry a raped women, kudos to Timi Dakolo for being a supportive husband and a lesson to many AFRICAN Man/ husband. One thing everyone should know is that speaking up for abuse, be it, woman or man is not done by physical strength but emotional and mental balance, pending when one mob”s it up.

The aftermath of a sexual assault and rape on the individual, being it woman or man, is really a serious one as the survivors can face extremely difficult and painful emotions and experiences.

Every survivor of Sexual/rape case responds to traumatic events in their own way differently. The effects of the trauma can be short-term or last long after the sexual assault or rape has taken place.

this is because our healing process differs from person to person depending on character strength of an individual and will power of the victim involved, some months, some years while some live with it for a life time,

Is even better the person comes out of it and speaks up, be it 1month, 5years or 20years Later because those who live with it never got healed and the effect rubs off on the society, the people around them and society at large suffers it,

African culture has a culture where society blame the victims of sexual assault especially when is a woman that is a victim,(that was raped) they have a way of normalizing the male sexual violence or accepting it as normal. (after all is men’s world)

The acceptance of rape as normal when a man rapes a woman, has given birth to occurrence of it in our society today, it is actually fueling the increase in of rape cases in our society, the impunity in our male and their mindset of ownership mentality that no women should reject them is as a result of this culture, this still the patriarchal culture that has kept us where we are today.

The report has it that 9 out of 10 raped women don’t report the case not only because society will not support them or will stigmatize them, but the authorities will hold it against them.( Most rich men get away with it, as they often rape so many women with their money after gracing the bank acct of our authorities, which is common and is still happening even as you are reading this article now)

It is no longer a story that in African when a women report a rape case to the authorities, they are been re-raped again by the authorizes who supposed to protect and defend them, breaking them down more, causing more injury,(majority of them lives in their shadows)  so many of them live with it, unfortunately, their reactions are thrown back to the society with changes in their lifestyle such as, lack of trust for others, Anger, blame, Shock, Numbness, Loss of control, Disorientation, hate and bitterness.

Funny enough this peoples appears okay, with their normal life but emotional and mentally they have been battered deeply, not until they are healed and comes out of it, nothing can be said of it.

every sexual assault is expected to express or go through its healing process their own way pending on their experiences. If a survivor’s reactions do not match common responses—such as no physical injury—it does not mean what happened was not sexual abuse or assault. No one is alone in their healing process. they need their family and society to heal because if they don’t all suffer it, direct and indirectly, is advisable that everyone plays part in the restorative pathway to their healing and stop this balm game of a culture not aggravating it more.

because in an attempt to stop the healings they might double their problems which they have mob up the courage over the years to face and walk out of such as;

1, Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), including flashbacks, nightmares, severe anxiety, and uncontrollable thoughts

2, Depression, including prolonged sadness, feelings of hopelessness, unexplained crying, weight loss or gain, loss of energy or interest in activities previously enjoyed

3, Suicidal thoughts or attempts. If you or someone you know is feeling suicidal,

4, Dissociation, including not being able to focus on work or on schoolwork, as well as not feeling wanted even with many family members or loved ones or present in everyday situations

Thanks for stopping by Beadys world changing your mindset.

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