Obviously, the rising number of baby mama and baby daddy syndrome is more in those societies that authentic love is not the order of the day, those societies that do not believe, practice true love and respect self to its fullest.
Back to John wooden word, ( THE BEST THING A FATHER CAN DO FOR HIS CHILD IS TO LOVE THE MOTHER) Now I asked? how can you love a woman who you have seen as a baby making machine, or love and respect exist among who have basically accepted to play the second fiddle in his life? meaning before the arrival of the child you have taken your position, most women, thinks the baby will make him love them, a man who doesn’t love you will never love you because you had his baby, most men will only respect you as the mother of their child which he holds at high esteem, and you as a women will live in that illusion expecting the love to come in your life which never comes. automatically taken a background position. which kills emotionally for some women.
For most women is an emotional torture, some women re-direct such pain to the child who is not part of that decision making. “stop torturing the innocent child”
One just said if the child never appeared, as if the child falls from heaven, I won’t be in this mess, I beg to say the innocent child has nothing to share out of the so-called mess, it is solely your decision oh both sorry, he/she is a blessing from God, whichever way, so take it easy on them, the children.
Before I go on we need to find out the origin of baby mama and baby daddy syndrome and the story behind it,
There have been those who wondered where the expressions come from — and as often as not, you’ll be that the answer is Jamaica. “Baby mama” and “baby daddy” are actually, of all things, grammar — of the “Negro dialect”
There is such a thing, although linguists refer to it as African-American Vernacular English, Black English or, since the 1990s, Ebonics, and it existed long before Outkast.
It might interest you to know that the influx of the Africans and others countries into Jamaican then, who never had a base, the helped in providing the manpower for the Jamaicans and not only where they working, they were also been used for soothing the navies and beds of the Jamaicans even before the emergence of condoms and it was made clear to them that they have no emotional attachment with their bed masters, no bound no feeling for them, with these their sex partners, which they respected, they are just men and women who where warming their beds, a position they openly accepted and it became a life pattern, that Jamaicans fathered babies they never have taken responsibility for, even with time some Jamaicans father children for fellow Jamaicans without being responsible for their actions, but because of the stereotype nature those children were subjected in the society, even most women where beaten by showing the children their biological fathers, a case was made on that regards for them to pay for the children’s upkeep etc, but that is a story for another day. hey, how on earth can anyone created by my sweet God, accept to be a second-class citizen what!!! still boils down to choice, and letting you know where you belong i don’t think is a bad thing.
No wonder studies have shown, that it takes a very low self-esteem/ emotional bartered person to comfortably feet into such shoes, accept the position of a baby mama/baby daddy if not for those one done by mistakes.
That is now has been copied around the world, am still asking must we copy everything? you will agree with me that this we have copied has changed a paradigm of our society and still changing us into……….
Talking about Change, change is constant they say. But certain changes are worrying and present threats to our common existence.
As a young girl in my remote village, some people will surely tell me, hey, they are now in the digital world and in town/urban, not your foolish village Beady, then I ask? have the digitalization taken away our morals and brains. oh sorry, I actually forget that our brains have actually been digitalized hahahahaha.
The news that a young lady has gotten pregnant through premarital sex provoked a certain kind of reaction for her and her household, we see remorse that shows it was actually a mistake and should be pardon and help in the process, but today they flaunt it about and most people emulate them with kin interest, in the old, such child/ children are addressed as “Bastard” but today reverse is the case, such children are now a threat to children born in legalized homes, they are the centre of cynosure, are we trying to say no need for unionism (marriages). Just asking like an old school chap lol.
As a child, no one needed to tell you that getting pregnant or impregnating someone before marriage was simply unacceptable and a bad conduct.
The fear of the associated stigma/ gossip and the outcome spurs you to zip up, keep your legs together and your knickers zipped up. no wonder we have good homes and well brought up children in the old, but what we are having today is being among the top country in the list of paternity fraud in the world, children of the old share love and bond with their family members, mothers and fathers as well even those born out of mistakes where systematically incorporated into a family system without them to know they are born out of wedlock.
Not like children of these days who have no emotional attachment with family members, who don’t feel the pains of others very proud of their mistakes.no matter how you and I look at it mistake still remains a mistake.
For sure certain changes you will agree with me are worrying and having a great negative impact on our society.
my elder friend said change is change, negative or positive but the one that saps your energy takes the upper hand, today I might want to ask you, from the point of baby mama and baby daddy which change is really sapping our energy, negative or positive, your answer is as good as mine.
majority of us will certainly say positive for the fact that the offspring are positive, they are humans! no wonder in my adage they say anywhere a child comes from let, the child stay, but! but? have you taken time to think on the ground or how fast this culture we have unconsciously copied from the developed world is shaping our culture with many of our stars, celebrities huge influencers in our society pointing us towards their own lifestyle by advertising it proudly then making ‘Baby M-Baby-D’ Impressively before our naive youths who now see it as a normal thing to do, competing for sex openly without a jerk.
No wonder A well-known celebrity in Africa “Timaya” Nigeria musician, a baby Daddy was advising phno not to get married, rather look for a girl to have a child for him, under the pretence that marriage institution has failed, I beg to make a case here, for the fact that being 30, 40, 50 or even 60 without a partner does not make marriage institution a failed one please.
life should be lived on conviction and we should stop dragging people into our mess just to justify our wrongs along with us, moreover is not every one that will get married that I agree, we should learn to appreciate people how they are and not stigmatizing people no matter what or where they found themselves.
note, am not an advocate of an abortion but when we live in a society where people cleans their buttons, going about looking for baby-making machines or accepting to be baby making machines just in the name of oh, I will fit the bills, he can pay my bills, I want to be part of his empire, am keen to share name with a particular family etc.
Society shares out of these problems as well;
Most relatives are like oh! secure your future, your biological time is going off, if you can’t get this marriage most times, why not get this a child, playing our creator oh try to get a child who will take care of you during your old age, this is because as people we are heartless and selfish, even with the increasing numbers of children in our motherless homes, who crave for acceptance, sense of belonging, oh no I want to have my own no wonder we have so many nuisance among us, because we have totally refused to give them a place among us segregating them oh no wonder they say Africans are always strangled with pressures from family, no wonder over expectations are on our offspring’s, expecting them to catch the wind we fail to catch in our young age, then more putting pressure on them at the end we all crumbles, it’s said he who has not stood carrying people that all of them will surely fail.
No wonder poverty is a trend, they replicate poverty like babies, you can not help people if you have not helped your self, but is not their fault, the population increasing mad with nothing on them, so the one with something shelters big problems for others.
Today, however, we seem to have done a complete U-turn, More and more celebrities/ public figures, influencers and people who shape opinion are having babies out of wedlock like something is wrong with marriage institution, how come?
our media/big shots celebrate it, and more and more women and men talk excitedly about just “having his baby / her carrying his baby and not “being his wife.”/ her husband, our men comfortably ask ladies to have a child for them just for fear of commitment why? ladies looking for well to do guys to have a child for, Indeed, there is increasingly emboldened argument against marriage itself then boundless, love and intimacy is now a thing of the past, children are no longer connected emotionally with their parents because the majority of them has grown up in a loveless environment. not that you are divorced, a widow or a mistake. rather is a prepared baby mama and baby daddy do you know the emotional trauma you are putting those children into no matter the level of your financial status or position in the society as a mobile father. everybody needs love and wants to be love.
one major thing most of this baby mama and baby daddy don’t know is that most of this children they feel they are grooming for their old age, or whatever reason best known to them, will grow up to learn the same thing as practised by their parents and automatically detached from them because no matter what you feed them with, they learn more from what they see, to them is okay to be alone, they get to find out is morally right not to take responsibilities, than at the old age you are left alone someone just said God forbid, mind you I might be given you the whole money on earth but emotionally disconnected from you.
Don’t disassociate yourself from this ravaging evil because every member of this society is as wrong as the baby mama and baby daddy too, people committing this crime, you just advise her/him to have a baby if marriage is not forthcoming oh, because to you-you have secured your own future leaving him or her alone to carter for himself you humiliate them with your gift from God/offsprings, what is not your strength, you segregate against them for their single status, oh what was that called, mar talk you think! well done, you are part of this evil in the land.
Have you wondered why many with this so-called children end up empty even with all the money and children, why some poor people die fulfilled why? ‘ IT IS JUST LIFESTYLE’ life does not end and start with material things, no matter how we try we can not do Gods work for him, he is still God!!!
Thanks for stopping by t read.
Beadys world changing your mindset.