Effect of girl child upbringing  (Africa, a case study) to our society

Before I start this write up , I wish to remind us that one of our major problems in Africa, is that we live in denial and as long  as we keep denying the truth about the situations surrounding us, instead of owning up to it, then looking for a way out of it, we will find it difficult to solve half of our Africans problems.

Am an African, born and bred and buttered here, hahaha funny due.  So am writing base on my experience and my personal findings, thank you as you read.

My African have this ancient belief system, that a girl child is of low value, little or no value is given to a girl child, than her counterpart the  boy child, they Palace more value on boys than they do to girls.

So that mindset has placed our girl children as low citizens which are still 85% obtainable to our society today, thank God for few parents who have  liberated from this belief system, reasoning and thinking and trying to see their own girl children differently helping them fulfilled Gods purpose in their life, but good number of girls still live in the old mindset even in this jet age, it breaks my heart.

To them, girls are for enjoyment, direct and indirectly,  and baby making to a very large extent, then limiting the Godly and natural potentials of these girls by nature through our culture and our mindset.

As for me, my own understanding of sex is that,sex is for married people and for two adults who have  mutual understanding for it, but in my Africa setting, is not  so, a girl has no right to reject a man advances towards her for sex, that is what she is here for,  what a mindset and a culture. forceful life and sexual usage are they have turned our girls into, who grow up to see this as a way of life no wonder baby bride and early pregnancy is common among us.

in African, girls don’t have the personal right of their own. Our culture is more valued than the right of a girl child  as  human who don’t even have one, she is seen as a second class citizen, and she must  obeyed and abide  the rules of the land which is more of our thinking. That is one of the reasons having a girls hand in marriage is another way of families to make money, we sell our girls in some areas, baby factories  is becoming so common today, so many of this girls don’t think of any other way of making life for themselves rather than using their body, which unconsciously we have inducted them into is now a life style to them and to us.

I just read that about 27millions people are under human trafficking to day in the world, larger numbers are girls and is more in African fellow by Asia countries why?,

We  put  our girls down in all ramifications, bullied them, and denial them of help to live a fulfilled life, most of the things their siblings get at will, boys they don’t get it, such like education, or learning of skills,freedom of live, that has done a great damage to their reasoning and the way they see themselves and see life, today it even manifest more in motherhood!For us, Girls are born to do domestic works, satisfied the men, bear children, those are few of their major work as girls and is a well-celebrated achievement. one of the reasons even those who have the opportunity  to be in school, can abound school at 3 hundred level or without writing their finals exams just because they have gotten married, that is a great achievement for them, being married and you see many of them being used for our so called politicians to win their positions only for them to abounded them,the women thereafter. They are always a ladder at which people use in getting to their destinations, in my place they address us as a common woman who bends to urinates.

So you have no right to speak when men are speaking as if the brain given to them girls,by God is for sample, self no wonder most of us grow up with every self-esteem lacking confidence,

You notice many girls experiencing  societal anxiety, low level of interpersonal confidence, this makes them have problems with social interaction with others finding it  difficult as they feel awkward, shy, conspicuous  and unable to adequately express  themselves when interacting with others, because our culture believed that they are to be seen not to be hard. Many say they are for decorations,so they do everything to beautified themselves to fit into the decoration levels, a way of craving for acceptance yet they are empty Inside.

It hurt me so much the moment I realize that this life style is acquired not inherited because i equally realize that most of this girls are genius and can do great things, if been liberated, given the opportunity, from this wrong mindset and set free, you see them killing their own God given talents or gifts just because they are girls, they there not dream, the culture made them believe that their rightful place is in the kitchen or in the other room. no wonder when President Muhammed Buhari said so, but of a truth he actually said the minds of millions of people in Africa, lets not pretend about it.

Then I started asking questions, after i meat with other girls who have high self esteem, who dream big, and achieve great things in life, why cant me and my sisters do same.

It all starts from our home front, from our mothers, fathers and family members, no wonder they say train a woman you train a nation but train  a men you train one person,

This is because our mothers  have direct contact with children than our fathers, is more likely that our mothers have 60 to 70 percent influence on our children than our fathers, so they say you see a mother more on their children than you see their father, so what kind of mothers do we have around our children, in  our neighborhood, yes neighborhood is still paramount, because is more of a societal thinking, reasoning and mindset that influences us more, if your neighbor mindset is horrible with time it will affect you, remember you don’t live alone, and girl  hear from you and from neighbors , which builds them up.

THE CRUS OF THE MATTER.

We have this system of always telling our girl child that their husband will bring wealth to the family, change the name of the family, Build us good house, enable you the mother/father to travel to other better parts of the world,(nwa diya ga edum ga obodo oyibo) .

We don’t make out time to build the sub- consciousness of our girl child, by telling them.  our girls, that they will be great, that they will change the name of this family, that they will take us to other  better parts of the world,  by their personal achievement, rather we tire their good life to them being married, by so doing we are creating in them that their better life is dependent on them getting a husband, one of the reasons many girls wish to marry a rich man, forgetting you can actually build the kind of wealth you desire with a man of your dream., so you find out that what 70 to 80 percent  girls live their life doing is waiting for that man who will come to change  their life,

We indirectly, telling them that their strongest  weapon is their body, oh my God, and we still turn around to blame them of  prostitution and being loss, that which we openly introduce them into, can we imagine our self.

So when their mates in the developed world are building  investing on their brains, we , our girls, are busy investing on our body, because that is what we have been thought that will give them the good life they desire, marriage. Major reason many girls will sleep with a men in return of money. our culture caused it. We see them as sex object and baby making factories,  so be careful how you talk to those girls next time, you actually joined in putting them in that position they are today, yes i said so

Deepening their self esteem. because one of the things that grown self esteem and build confident  is achievement  but our girls don’t think in that direction and few who have been liberated with the help of their families are seen as being two wise, they tag them being  over ambitious  , they becomes a threat to men fold who feel they cannot be control as wives, so getting married to such girls, who have some achievement is always a problem, our men want  woman they can control, they want slaves, is our culture, so for many women, who wish to marry need to lower their standard to accommodate their men who may not have anything to offer them, or even if his head is empty, he is good to go simple because he is a man!what a life.

The irony of this is that, in some families, they expect some of this girls to go out, make  the money anyhow, with their bodies, which their parents turn deaf ears or blind eyes over as if they don’t know what their girl children are doing, which they use for their brothers upkeep, what a people. the same boys they will use the girl child money to train with still feels more important  and seen as the superior beings why the girl child are seen as  inferior beings,, it even become worst, if you as a girl, are unable to get yourself a husband no matter your achievement the society look down on you, so many girls or woman can give up everything in life even happiness to have a man to call a husband, to us marriage in this part of the world, is not for what God has made it to be(companionship) but is for the way society looks at it and must be respected. No wonder many are married and still not happy and a lot of  single still not happy, then I keep asking why?

Marriage is what we term as an achievement for our girls. and our culture are reasons our girls are the way they are today, Beady is asking you people why is it so? and what can we do to change this mindset? is destroying us.

Thank you.

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